Potty!

HUGE! NEWS! A certain ginger 2 year old just peed in the potty for the VERY FIRST TIME!! I am one happy mama bunny right now, I can tell you that! :)

So. Now that that's out of the way...today was a very slow-moving and painful day. Wednesday is Kitchen Day, and ALWAYS brutal. I spent most of the day yesterday scrubbing the crap out of the kitchen, and, as usual, way overdid it, and spent most of today lying on the couch trying not to die from fatigue and terrible fibromyalgia-induced muscle pain. But the kitchen really did need it, and I didn't even get to the floor. Oy.

After a few days of it, I have to say that this whole not-using-the-dryer thing has got me SUPER excited. I can. not. WAIT to see the difference in usage on the next bill!

Today was the first day of school here, and a couple people I know have kids who started kindergarten. It's had me thinking a lot today about what it's going to be like maneuvering things for G, when he gets there, from a religious perspective. Will there be a lot of hostility? Will he get made fun of or bullied? Will they throw a fit about him missing school for sabbats? Will he ever feel ashamed of our faith, or of us, because we're "different"? There's no way to know any of that until the time comes, but they're all things I worry about. I hate that my child might have a more difficult go of it, or be singled out, because of something that isn't really up to him. He didn't get to choose his family (unless you believe he did, which sometimes I do think is more than just possible), and he didn't get to choose small-town, Christian-dominated America, just like he didn't get to choose to be a ginger, or all-but-albino, or freakishly tall, all things he'll probably take heat for in school. There's nothing I can do but teach him ways to react properly, but it still kills me just thinking about it.

Well, ok...I say there's nothing I can do, but that's not really true, just as it's not true there's nothing I can do about our financial situation. There's nothing the gods and I can't do together.
I suppose I should mention at this point that I do almost no ceremonial or "high" magic. I've noted in passing that I have fibromyalgia, which for me manifests more often as crippling fatigue than pain (although that certainly shows up plenty, too). At times, even things like reading a book to Gabriel take more energy than I have. This hurts me emotionally on a number of levels: everyone who has ever met Gabriel can tell from the first moment that he is more than just smart; he is an extremely gifted child, and I would not be surprised if he started kindergarten a year early like I did. He has so much potential, and so much is determined in the first few years, that I feel like the world's worst mother because I am not able to help and teach him as much as I'd like to.
But it also manifests in a religious way. As a pagan, obviously I wanted from day one to all but live outside, to take G walking in the woods, and play with him in ponds and grass and trees, to teach him about the sacredness of Mother Earth and all her children. I want to show him bugs and animals and plants, teach him their names and properties, how to connect with them, to respect them, to love and protect them as he does himself. To feel the power and holy energy of Father Sun at midday, and the very different power and holy energy of Mother Moon at Her fullest. To celebrate the sabbats, and teach him why we do so. To help him grow into a dirt-worshiping pagan just like his mother.
Obviously, none of these things have happened yet, and I feel like I am failing at my most important task of all: teaching my little witch-baby about the God and Goddess and their unending love for us.
Ooh, Chris finally just got home at a quarter after 11, so I'm out to spend some time with him.

Brightest blessings,
Alicia